I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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