We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
