dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You are the jesus of drinking
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
