i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
