my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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