next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
