We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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