did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This is my gift to your gina
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
