I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
