He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
