I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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