How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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