i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
