ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
