we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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