He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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