Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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