a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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