They should really pass out barf bags in church
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
