It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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