if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
