I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
