i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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