Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
