Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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