as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
