He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
