im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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