sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
