you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
