i may or may not be watching the land before time
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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