how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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