do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
