mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It's Friday. Sex?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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