is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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