I think my vagina is haunted
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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