Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hippo gnu deer
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You are a genius and a whore.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm really busy with my period
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