OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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