I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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