glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it's like heaven, but drunker
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
