I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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