giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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