I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
