it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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