His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize