onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize