idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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