bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
