Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
