sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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