I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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