I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
