Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
