I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
